Conflicts are inevitable, but the more we know about human nature, the better we will be at resolving conflicts, and the better the outcome might be for both parties. We know that different people have different priorities and different styles in dealing with situations that may occur, but in general, human beings have certain characteristics that are very similar - even across gender, racial, and socio-economic lines.
People love to be agreed with.
People hate to be disagreed with.
People like other people who agree with them.
People dislike other people who disagree with them.
People who are good at resolving conflicts look for some point of agreement and use good people skills to get others to see a different point of view.
So if we know that when we disagree with people, we are likely to raise resentment, it might be a good idea to strengthen our soft-skills - our people skills - when dealing with conflicts or potential conflicts. If we find ourselves in a tense situation, and we raise our voice, the other party is likely to respond in kind. This will usually escalate the situation quickly. Understanding this human nature is one of the first and most important steps in anger management. Below are SEVEN tips for avoiding and ultimately managing and resolving conflicts.
1. Be proactive instead of reactive. Good plans shape good decisions. That's why good planning helps to make elusive dreams come true. -Lester R. Bittel
2. Be slow to anger-especially over petty issues. Anger is always more harmful than the insult that caused it. -Chinese Proverb
3. Instead of telling people they are wrong, point out mistakes indirectly. A person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. -Samuel Butler
4. Look for some type of common ground as soon as possible. A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. -Ludwig Erhard
5. If you find that you are in the wrong, admit it. It's easier to eat crow while it is still warm. -Dan Heist
6. Admit one of your own poor decisions before pointing out a similar error by others. A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. -Alexander Pope, from Miscellanies by Jonathan Swift
7. Mend fences whenever possible. Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury. -E.H. Chapin
People love to be agreed with.
People hate to be disagreed with.
People like other people who agree with them.
People dislike other people who disagree with them.
People who are good at resolving conflicts look for some point of agreement and use good people skills to get others to see a different point of view.
So if we know that when we disagree with people, we are likely to raise resentment, it might be a good idea to strengthen our soft-skills - our people skills - when dealing with conflicts or potential conflicts. If we find ourselves in a tense situation, and we raise our voice, the other party is likely to respond in kind. This will usually escalate the situation quickly. Understanding this human nature is one of the first and most important steps in anger management. Below are SEVEN tips for avoiding and ultimately managing and resolving conflicts.
1. Be proactive instead of reactive. Good plans shape good decisions. That's why good planning helps to make elusive dreams come true. -Lester R. Bittel
2. Be slow to anger-especially over petty issues. Anger is always more harmful than the insult that caused it. -Chinese Proverb
3. Instead of telling people they are wrong, point out mistakes indirectly. A person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still. -Samuel Butler
4. Look for some type of common ground as soon as possible. A compromise is the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece. -Ludwig Erhard
5. If you find that you are in the wrong, admit it. It's easier to eat crow while it is still warm. -Dan Heist
6. Admit one of your own poor decisions before pointing out a similar error by others. A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. -Alexander Pope, from Miscellanies by Jonathan Swift
7. Mend fences whenever possible. Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge, and dares forgive an injury. -E.H. Chapin
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Its immoral to say no to sex education
| By Anita Ratnam | |||
| With the observance of Global AIDS Action Week last week, once again the issue of sex education is likely to get linked with AIDS prevention... | |||
 With the observance of Global AIDS Action Week last week, once again the issue of sex education is likely to get linked with AIDS prevention. Over the years we have seen sex education being debated either in the context of concerns about population control or AIDS prevention. Does education about sex and sexuality have to be perceived only within the confines of these two arenas?In the wake of the Central government's attempts to introduce sex education from class VI onwards, the refusal of state governments of Maharashtra, Karnataka and Madhya Pradesh, Gujarat and Chhattisgarh has thrown up other issues. It is no accident that these are states with a significant Sangh Parivar presence in government and their refusal stems largely from a perception that sex education will lead to corruption of Indian culture. In the context of their claim to be self-proclaimed custodians of this "culture", the recent proclamations by Karnataka Minister Horatti that sex education will be replaced by morality education comes as no surprise. While there is a need to openly discuss the age-appropriateness of the modules and illustrations in the proposed curriculum, outright refusal to introduce sex education is disconcerting. Yet decisions like these need to be based on hard (even if unpalatable) facts, instead of hypothetical fears and misconceptions. Firstly, a misconception that sex education is about biology and the sexual act needs to be clarified. Sex education looks at the total persona – our understanding of our bodies, our notions of intimacy in relationships, respect for each other's autonomy, our evolution as sexual beings, our safety from sexual abuse, the development of a healthy attitude towards one’s own sexuality and respect for different sexual orientations. It is also about reproductive health, the institution of marriage and family and the responsibility towards self and society in the context of procreation as well as pleasure. Most importantly, it is about the gender divide and comprehending the ‘gender’ socialisation that pave the way for sexual violence against women, children of both sexes and against transgender communities. Therefore reducing sex education to just education about sex, is an erroneous notion. And yes, it is about culture, a culture of dignity, respect, autonomy and responsibility. Another fear is that sex education will provoke children to become sexually active. The truth however is that children too (not just adolescents) are sexual beings. Their explorations of their own bodies and childhood sexual play with friends and siblings has been recognised as normal and not dysfunctional behaviour. In a society where we squirm to openly acknowledge even adult sexuality, childhood sexuality has remained a taboo and an enigma. At the same time, the sexual abuse of children by adults is now recognised as endemic. The study by Samvada, Bangalore in 1994 and National Study conducted by the Ministry of Women and Child Development, UNICEF and Save the Children in 2007, note that child sexual abuse in India begins as early as age five, increases dramatically during pre-pubescence and peaks at 12 to 16 years. Twenty-one per cent of respondents reported severe sexual abuse like rape, sodomy, fondling or exposure to pornographic material and 53 per cent acknowledged other forms of sexual abuse with over 50 per cent of the abusers being known and trusted adults. Most of those abused emphasise that they did not understand what was being done to them. A misplaced trust in "family" or respected elders and the abusers' confidence that the child will not be able to comprehend or disclose the abuse, have set the stage for such abuse and trauma. By not providing sex education that is age-appropriate and sensitive to social structures, governments are compromising the safety and mental health of our precious children. With 50 per cent of girls in India married before the age of 18 and 40 per cent before the age of 16, it is ironic that adolescent girls are considered ready for marriage, but not for sex education! Among the economically better off where the marriage age is increasing, not only are adolescents vulnerable to sexual abuse, their own sexual experimentation is more covert. Would it not make more sense to help them talk openly about their anxieties and desires? Are we willing to place honour of an imagined community before basic human rights, desires and safety of our children and youth? Is this morality? | |||
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
World 'losing fight against Aids'
Dr Fauci says there must be greater effort to boost prevention
The world is losing the battle against HIV/Aids, US President George W Bush's top adviser on the virus has said.
Dr Anthony Fauci told a conference in Sydney that progress had been made but more people were being infected with HIV than were being treated.
"For every one person that you put in therapy, six new people get infected. So we're losing that game, the numbers game," he said.
Dr Fauci was speaking at a gathering of the world's leading HIV/Aids experts.
Last year, 2.2 million people in the developing world had access to the anti-retroviral drugs that help treat the virus, compared with less than 300,000 people three years ago.
"The HIV epidemic is essentially uncontrolled, uncontrolled in Africa, uncontrolled completely in Asia right now"
Dr Brian Gazzard
British HIV Association
But new infections were continuing to outpace the global effort to treat and educate patients, the conference heard.
Delegates were encouraged by findings that male circumcision can reduce the risk of HIV infection in young men by 60%.
The study, based on trials in Kenya, Uganda and South Africa, forecast that male circumcision would prevent 5.7 million new cases of HIV infection over 20 years in sub-Saharan Africa.
HIV/AIDS THREAT
The number of people with HIV is expected to rise from around 40 million today to 60 million by 2015
Aids has already killed 25 million people
Only 28% of the world's HIV/Aids patients are on anti-retroviral drugs
Just one in 10 pregnant women with Aids get treatment to stop them transmitting the disease to their unborn children
"We've had one important breakthrough this year, with understanding the role of circumcision in prevention," said Dr Fauci, the director of the US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.
"We need to do more of that and importantly, we need to make available to the people throughout the world the prevention methods that are proven technologies."
But in many parts of the developing world, effective prevention strategies like condoms and sterile syringes are available to less than 15% of the population.
Epidemic
Dr Fauci's warning at the Fourth International Aids Society Conference on HIV Pathogenesis and Treatment was echoed by other experts.
Dr Brian Gazzard, of the British HIV Association, said that despite greater access to anti-retroviral drugs, the disease was running out of control in parts of Asia and Africa.
"The HIV epidemic is essentially uncontrolled, uncontrolled in Africa, uncontrolled completely in Asia right now," he said.
The Australian conference's 5,000 delegates are drawn from more than 130 countries.
On 5 June 1981, the first case study detailing an unusual cluster of pneumonia cases among gay men alerted the world to Aids.Here are some of the key dates in the history of the illness since then.
1982 - Aids, Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, is first used as a term.
The condition had earlier been known as Grid - Gay Related Immune Deficiency.
The first case of Aids is reported in Africa.
1983 - The US Centers for Disease Control adds female partners to the list of groups at risk.
1984 - HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) is isolated by Luc Montagnier of the Pasteur Institute in Paris and Robert Gallo of the US National Cancer Institute.
1985 - Hollywood star Rock Hudson is revealed to have Aids.
1987 - The UK government's "Don't Die of Ignorance" campaign is launched.
Needle exchanges are first piloted in the UK.
The first antiretroviral drug, AZT, is approved in the US.
Pictures of Princess Diana holding the hand of a patient in an Aids ward are broadcast around the world.
HIV testing is introduced across the UK.
1988 - First World Aids Day.
1989 - The first HIV awareness materials targeted at gay men are produced by the Health Education Authority.
1990 - The BBC soap opera Eastenders runs a storyline in which Mark Fowler, a major character, is found to be HIV positive, raising awareness of the condition.
1991 - Freddie Mercury, lead singer of Queen, dies of an Aids-related illness.
The Red Ribbon becomes the international symbol of HIV.
The US Food and Drug Administration licences the first rapid HIV test.
Ten million people around the world are HIV positive. Aids kills more men aged 25 to 44 than any other condition.
1995 - There is an outbreak of HIV among injecting drug users in Eastern Europe.
The first combination therapy - HAART, (highly active antiretroviral therapy) is approved for use in the US.
1996 - UNAIDS is established.
1998 - Trials of a vaccine against HIV begin.
2001 - Drug companies abandon their opposition to the generic production of antiretrovirals.
2002 - The Global Fund for the fight against HIV/Aids, malaria and TB is set up.
2003 - Results of the first major HIV vaccine trial - Aids VAX - show promise.
2005 - International leaders commit to universal access to treatment at the G8 Summit in Gleneagles.
About 1.3 million people in developing countries have access to treatment.
2006 - About 38.6m people are estimated to be living with Aids worldwide.
The world is losing the battle against HIV/Aids, US President George W Bush's top adviser on the virus has said.
Dr Anthony Fauci told a conference in Sydney that progress had been made but more people were being infected with HIV than were being treated.
"For every one person that you put in therapy, six new people get infected. So we're losing that game, the numbers game," he said.
Dr Fauci was speaking at a gathering of the world's leading HIV/Aids experts.
Last year, 2.2 million people in the developing world had access to the anti-retroviral drugs that help treat the virus, compared with less than 300,000 people three years ago.
"The HIV epidemic is essentially uncontrolled, uncontrolled in Africa, uncontrolled completely in Asia right now"
Dr Brian Gazzard
British HIV Association
But new infections were continuing to outpace the global effort to treat and educate patients, the conference heard.
Delegates were encouraged by findings that male circumcision can reduce the risk of HIV infection in young men by 60%.
The study, based on trials in Kenya, Uganda and South Africa, forecast that male circumcision would prevent 5.7 million new cases of HIV infection over 20 years in sub-Saharan Africa.
HIV/AIDS THREAT
The number of people with HIV is expected to rise from around 40 million today to 60 million by 2015
Aids has already killed 25 million people
Only 28% of the world's HIV/Aids patients are on anti-retroviral drugs
Just one in 10 pregnant women with Aids get treatment to stop them transmitting the disease to their unborn children
"We've had one important breakthrough this year, with understanding the role of circumcision in prevention," said Dr Fauci, the director of the US National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.
"We need to do more of that and importantly, we need to make available to the people throughout the world the prevention methods that are proven technologies."
But in many parts of the developing world, effective prevention strategies like condoms and sterile syringes are available to less than 15% of the population.
Epidemic
Dr Fauci's warning at the Fourth International Aids Society Conference on HIV Pathogenesis and Treatment was echoed by other experts.
Dr Brian Gazzard, of the British HIV Association, said that despite greater access to anti-retroviral drugs, the disease was running out of control in parts of Asia and Africa.
"The HIV epidemic is essentially uncontrolled, uncontrolled in Africa, uncontrolled completely in Asia right now," he said.
The Australian conference's 5,000 delegates are drawn from more than 130 countries.
Timeline: 25 years of HIV/Aids
The red Aids ribbon, introduced in 1991, is now universally recognised
|
1982 - Aids, Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, is first used as a term.
The condition had earlier been known as Grid - Gay Related Immune Deficiency.
The first case of Aids is reported in Africa.
1983 - The US Centers for Disease Control adds female partners to the list of groups at risk.
1984 - HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) is isolated by Luc Montagnier of the Pasteur Institute in Paris and Robert Gallo of the US National Cancer Institute.
1985 - Hollywood star Rock Hudson is revealed to have Aids.
1987 - The UK government's "Don't Die of Ignorance" campaign is launched.
Rock Hudson was revealed to have Aids in 1985
|
Needle exchanges are first piloted in the UK.
The first antiretroviral drug, AZT, is approved in the US.
Pictures of Princess Diana holding the hand of a patient in an Aids ward are broadcast around the world.
HIV testing is introduced across the UK.
1988 - First World Aids Day.
1989 - The first HIV awareness materials targeted at gay men are produced by the Health Education Authority.
1990 - The BBC soap opera Eastenders runs a storyline in which Mark Fowler, a major character, is found to be HIV positive, raising awareness of the condition.
Eastenders highlighted HIV in its 1990s storyline
|
1991 - Freddie Mercury, lead singer of Queen, dies of an Aids-related illness.
The Red Ribbon becomes the international symbol of HIV.
The US Food and Drug Administration licences the first rapid HIV test.
Ten million people around the world are HIV positive. Aids kills more men aged 25 to 44 than any other condition.
1995 - There is an outbreak of HIV among injecting drug users in Eastern Europe.
The first combination therapy - HAART, (highly active antiretroviral therapy) is approved for use in the US.
1996 - UNAIDS is established.
1998 - Trials of a vaccine against HIV begin.
2001 - Drug companies abandon their opposition to the generic production of antiretrovirals.
2002 - The Global Fund for the fight against HIV/Aids, malaria and TB is set up.
2003 - Results of the first major HIV vaccine trial - Aids VAX - show promise.
2005 - International leaders commit to universal access to treatment at the G8 Summit in Gleneagles.
About 1.3 million people in developing countries have access to treatment.
2006 - About 38.6m people are estimated to be living with Aids worldwide.
Very informative post that you've shared here. For a fact, we all experience anger in our lives. Uncontrolled anger, however, can create problems in our relationships and even with our health. All of this can lead to more stress and additional problems, which can complicate life and keep us from being our best selves. You have to learn to be happy by yourself no matter how many times you have been hurt or abuses, it is not easy. I am very much aware of the fact that letting go and being happy alone is not easy, because I was there, not once nor twice, but in the end, I came out stronger. I take everything that has happened to be a learn and as humans, we make mistakes, all you have to do is to forgive yourself and love YOU. You deserve that. You are far better than what they would make you feel or believe. The wonderful post you've shared here and also I read through your blog and I am left speechless, you're an awesome writer. I was searching for some words of encouragement and how to be happy alone words for a friend and stumbled on your blog. I am really impressed with how god you are. I'm not that great at writing but i do hope you read TFPDL or Mulan free download on my website and share your feedback with me. Feel free to email at Francawhyte447@gmail.com if you have tips to share with me. Oh, well, thanks in advance for your time.
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